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My 10-Point Homosexual Agenda

1. To put nothing before The One who is Love.

2. To not worship Mammon, The Constitution, The Bible, culture or technology (sorry Facebook).

3. To only speak God’s name when I am either talking to or about God. Ecstasy counts since it could be argued I am expressing gratitude.

4. To take at least one day out of seven completely off. There are jobs to do, bills to pay, groceries to buy, stinky dogs to be washed, sidewalks to be swept and laundry to be cleaned. Without allowing my body, mind, heart and soul to rest I can only bring a fraction of myself to the many roles I am called to play – mom, partner, daughter, sister, digital strategist, blogger, friend and big ole lesbian responsible for all that is wrong in America (that last one is exhausting). Instead of ticking off a task list in the fleeting hours of the weekend, I will clock out for at least one full day and just laze around with the kids playing games or watching tv, eating good food, rolling around on the floor with the pups. When I am done with that I will to switch to a rigorous session of sitting too long by the backyard fire and drinking a good beer. Throw in some praying, reading and singing with friends at church and you can stick a fork in it and call it sabbath.

5. To honor the memories of my mamma by not forgetting the good or the bad and learning to live into the better. To honor the lessons of hard work, determination and loyalty taught by my daddy. I will choose to love my mamma and daddy, not in spite of our long history, but because of it. For who they are is why I am who I am. I will honor my parents by being a good parent – offering my own kids the best of what my they gave me (little things breakfast every morning, badly sewn on Girl Scout patches, trips to the store when I am bone tired and oh yeah, a marriage that lasted until the day my mamma died). I will honor my parents by making plenty of my own mistakes and not repeating theirs (deep insecurity, co-dependance, fear of the new/other/unknown, judging my daughters before trying to understand them or projecting all my crazy onto my kids). I will honor my parents by keeping within me all the good and bad – reveling in the grace and refusing to repeat the sins.

6. To be consistent about the whole no-killing bit. Yeah, the assault rifle part is gonna be a breeze for me, but the not-participating in the suffering and slaughter of the food industrial complex is gonna take a little more effort. No chicken wings and no 5 Guys burgers, no crackling in my cornbread and no B in my LT.

7. To be faithful to my wife in all my thoughts and deeds.

8. To not steal – someone else’s punchline, the credit for someone else’s job well done, another’s joy by trumping them with mine, my daughter’s time with her father no matter how desperately I want to hog all of her days or even so much as an extra bite of fried tofu from Whole Foods before weighing the plate. Oh, and I will become a better, more prolific photographer so I stop using Googled images I did not pay for.

9. To speak the truth as I understand it – every day – no matter the consequences. But I can use my inside voice.

10. To be content with the life God has given me to live. To truly understand and be grateful that I have so much more than millions of people in the world – clean water, warm clothes, soft beds, healthy and thriving children, a committed and faithful partner, a fan-freakin-tastic job that I love and where I am respected, strong bones and a willing heart. I will not covet the latest iPhone, that convertible Mini-Cooper, that new pair of kickin’ cowboy boots, perky little boobs that I will never have again, wrinkle-free skin, or gray-free hair. I will know that: the body I have is enough, the relationship I have is enough, the money I have is enough, the food on my plate is enough, the clothes on my back are enough, the time I have on this earth is enough and all the gifts God has given me are abundant beyond my comprehension.

I am going to try like the dickens to live up to all of it, so help me God.

 

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